I don't think there are suitable words for how I feel right now.
I'm sitting at the computer chair, in my good-for-all-situations hoodie, even though it's warm in here.
I'm not happy, but I'm not unhappy.
I'm not anxious, but I keep thinking something's going to happen.
I'm not tired, but I want to go back to sleep.
I want to do something, but I don't want to be too busy.
Is there a name for this sort of mood?

Today is the parents' orientation meeting for the Conservatory, where we will be taking drama. My mom is going, and my sister Aubrey is going because her kids are now in Tae Kwon Do. So Beth, Tim, Caleb, and I are going over to her house to watch her 6 kids.

I feel like I'm entering a new chapter in my life. Like I've reached a milestone. But I'm not sure what the milestone is. I just feel like it's there, and I've either past it already, or am about to pass it.

I'm full of random thoughts today...well, more than other days. Like:

Whoever said that black and brown can't be worn together?

If lions live in the savannah, why are they called the king of the jungle?

What is plastic anyway?

Moreover, why are people allergic to plastic??

Why do some people hate having their picture taken?

What's the point of an autograph if you already know someone's name?

Why do parents always tell their little kids not to blow bubbles in their chocolate milk? Why is it different from any other drink?

Okay, that's enough of that:)

My song for the day is "Long Ride Home" which you will see at the end of this post. Totally unrelated to today I suppose, but oh well. That's the song I picked.

Love,

Susanna



Long black limousine
Shiniest car I've ever seen
The back seat is nice and clean
She rides as quiet as a dream
Someone dug a hole six long feet in the ground
I said goodbye to you and I threw my roses down
Ain't nothing left at all in the end of being proud
With me riding in this car, and you flying through them clouds

I've had some time to think about you
And watch the sun sink like a stone
I've had some time to think about you
On the long ride home

One day I took your tiny hand
Put your finger in the wedding band
Your daddy gave a piece of land
We laid ourselves the best of plans
Forty years go by with someone laying in your bed
Forty years of things you say you wish you'd never said
How hard would it have been to say some kinder words instead
I wonder as I stare up at the sky turning red
I've had some time to think about you
And watch the sun sink like a stone
I've had some time to think about you
On the long ride home

Headlights staring at the driveway
The house is dark as it can be
I go inside and all is silentI
t seems as empty as the inside of me
I've had some time to think about you
And watch the sun sink like a stone
I've had some time to think about you
On the long, on the long
Oh the long, on the long
On the long ride home
~~Long Ride Home, Patty Griffin

Wow. Half way through the second day of school. Let me tell ya, it's alot heavier than any school year I've ever had. I am actually liking it better than I thought I would...except for the waking up time of day. 0630-0700. For those of you people who can't tell military time, that means 6:30-7:00 am. IN THE MORNING! And what stinks is that yesterday (the official first day of school), I had a terrible headache all morning/afternoon from waking up too early and running 1 mile in our neighborhood before I was fully awake. So I planned on going to bed around 2100(9:00) or so. But I didn't because right when I thought I was going to go to sleep, Murphey's Law states that I would get my second wind. And I did. But what the hey, I'm awake right now, aren't I?? Well, almost all the way. I didn't go running this morning though, it's too dark at 0630 and at 0650 when it starts to get lighter, all the schoolbuses traffic in, so I'm constantly waiting for them. I need a new system. At least after Daylight Saving's Time it'll be lighter in the morning. And it'll be cooler so it won't be so bad running.
^^That was a long paragraph about school!

I heard "Call Me When You're Sober" by Evanescence, from their new cd "The Open Door" coming soon. I watched the music video on evanescence.com. Here's my thoughts on it:
1. It was definitely Black, Brown, and lots of Red
2. It was very good
3. Can't touch My Immortal, Imaginary, or Bring Me To Life
4. Definitely has a different feel than Fallen did...Fallen was dark and dreamlike with a bit of angst, this new song was more alive, more real almost, and the first song of their's I've ever heard that was about a guy
5. Lyrics weren't as deep and poetic, mostly because Ben Moody didn't write it *sniff*
6. Music video was alot more busy than any of their other videos
7. I will buy the album if my dad says so
8. I like the piano music in the song (that should be expected from me though:D)

that's it. I think it's a keeper.
















here's the picture that wouldn't come through on my last post.
It's me with the four Slaughter kids, from left to right:
Carrie, Molly, Warren(W.E.S.), and Henry. I miss them!

I'm getting the hang of "For Good" on the piano. And I've started on "Wonderful." There are so many songs in the Wicked book of mine that i wish I could play, but I'll never be able to. Like "Defying Gravity." Amazing song, even more amazing key to play in. Not for me.

Among many other things, I'm currently reading "Dave Barry Slept Here." By Dave Barry. Last night I read 11 chapters. I was crying, from laughing so hard. It's the most hilarious book I've ever read, excepting The Princess Bride. If you've never heard of Dave Barry, he's a comedy book writer, his works include:
Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States
Dave Barry Turns 40
Dave Barry's only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need
and many more. You should really read the one I'm currently reading if you never have.

That's all for now,

Susanna

"My way's not very sportsmanlike...."

Day by Day and with Each Passing Moment

Day by day and with each passing moment
Strength I find to meet my trials here
Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment
I've no cause for worry or for fear

He whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what he deems best
Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure
Mingling toil with peace and rest

Every day the Lord himself is near me
With a special mercy for each hour
All my cares he fain would bear, and cheer me
He whose name is Counselor and Pow'r

The protection of his child and treasure
Is a charge that on himself he laid
"As your days, your strength shall be in meaure,"
this the pledge to me he made

Help me then in every tribulation
So to trust your promises, O Lord
That I lose not faith's sweet consolation
Offered me within your holy Word

Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting
E'er to take, as from a Father's hand
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting
Till I reach the promised land

^^^that is one of my favorite hymns. We sang it in church this morning.

Today after church we had a cookout at the Cohoons' house. It was really weird with Emily and Michelle not being there. I almost started crying. Haha Mrs. Cohoon put me and Beth right to work saying "I don't have any daughters left to help me!" lol. It was cool though.
I had a REALLY bad headache when I woke up this morning! And of course I'm dead tired now from swimming at the Cohoons'. LET THE RECORD SHOW! that I didn't not get pushed in ONCE! Not even by Kelly or Ryan. Yep. I'm proud of myself:)

My nephew Sam has chicken pox. REALLY bad. It's so sad:*( He's 2 years old. It's very strange, he says almost everything backwards. So he calls me Ellesh. Seriously. But I'll teach him to call me Sassie:D. That all started with my niece Erin(almost 2) She couldn't say 'Shelley' so I tried to get her to call me "Suzie" like her mom(Annie) does. But instead, she said, in very pronounced syllables, 'Sas-sie!' so Sassie it was. So for the rest of the time I was up there, I was trying to convince Carrie(2) that my name was Sassie even though she could say Shelley. I think I succeeded. *sigh* I miss those babies!

School officially starts tomorrow. I'm half dreading it, half anticipating it. I haven't decided one or the other yet.

To wrap things up, I WAS going to post another picture, but blogger is being stupid. Better luck next time. Love to all of you who actually read this:)

Susanna

I just found that I have failed to mention something very important that happened on vacation! Now, from CJ all the way to John Caleb, we've all got nicknames. Some have been around for a while, and some are brand new. The names are as follows (Nathan's and CJ's have been with us for some time now):
CJ--Dok
Nathan--Nay-nuh
Beth(get ready for this)--Boppy
Shelley--Sassie(i did NOT come up with that)
Caleb--Cow

pretty impressive, huh?:) just thought I'd post that and see who laughed. Did you laugh?;)



This is us eating at applebee's.











This is the promised pic of Annie and Nate. Do I have good looking siblings or what??


















Me and my first-ever niece, Molly. I look sort of evil in this one>:-]












I think this is the best picture from vacation, hands down. This is my brother-in-law Dave and my niece Carrie. Isn't it just the cutest?












Yuck. School officially starts on Monday. You do NOT want to see my list of things to do each day!
But hey, drama starts in two weeks! That's exciting. And I might be doing piano again, not sure yet. Definitely not at MACSA again. Another downer thing about school starting is that when LOST starts, we're gonna have to tape it and watch it on the weekend! Oh well, it's better than not watching it at all i s'pose.
Love,

Susanna<3

...though some have changed... ...some forever not for better...

...some have gone and some remain...

...all these places have their moments...

...of lovers and friends I still can recall...

Some are dead and some are living, in my life I loved them all.

I'm taking a short break from vacation pictures to post this one.

This is me with some of the greatest friends ever. Michelle, CJ, Emily, and Nathan. Beth would've been in here but she had already left for Virginia. This was the last day that we would all be together until Christmas. Michelle, Emily, CJ, Beth and I pretty much spent the whole summer together. This pic was taken right after we had all been crying at church:'(. The three in the middle decided to leave the rest of us here. I miss you guys! Amidst how incredibly different we all are, the five of us got along so incredible well and never had a dispute we didn't settle. Great. Now I'm crying typing this. Love you all!

So now I've gotten that out:) stay tuned for more pictures soon to come. I had everything all ready, the pictures ready to be posted, and then my computer turned on me and deleted it all. I'm tired of fighting with it right now.

Susanna

PS. THE FISH IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!

Alright, Annie, here comes the first round of pictures!

From left to right: Joshua Russell, Timothy Warren, Caleb Warren, Jonathan Russell, Beth Warren, David Russell, Molly Slaughter.
Aren't they all cute?











Me and my awesome nephew, Henry. Isn't his hair the best??
PS. I know you can't tell from this picture, but my shirt says 'Longhorn Girl' ;)














Two of the best siblings ever!














My brother-in-law Caleb and my niece Erin...she likes to be swung around:)












My niece, Carrie...isn't she adorable?

















Well, that's all the time for today kids, remember, God made you spe--oh wait, that's Veggie Tales...nevermind. Stick around for more pictures, though. These were just the first of MANY! haha
Love to all,

Susanna

I'm back!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The past two weeks were the BEST vacation ever! My family is the best in the world! I'm not putting up pictures on this post, but over the next few days you'll see them in several posts:) This time I'm gonna get out all the talking. If you're really brave, you'll stick around for the whole thing, and if you're not, there are absolutely no hard feelings;)
Here goes nothin'!

Sunday, August 6: After church, we piled all our millions of bags in the car and left for Fort Worth, TX. Got there that night, had pizza with my amazing grandparents and aunts and uncles, then got BACK in the car and started driving. We drove all through the night.
Monday, August 7: We had all been sleeping except poor dad who had the job of driving through the night. We had driving all the way through Arkansas and part of Tennessee. We ate at Cracker Barrel in Tennessee...we didn't know exactly where we were, so CJ had to ask the waitress "What town is it?" the confused waitress said that we were in Jackson. Then got back in the car and drove to Abingdon, VA to stay with some old friends of ours, the McCraws. They have the most beautiful kids! And they were kind enough to put us up for the night, which was a big help.
Tuesday, August 8: Drove from Abingdon to Lovettsville, and FINALLY saw everyone! You will never know how good that felt, to all be together again. We had my brother-in-law Dirk make us his famous Chicken Pot Pie. It's one of the best comfort + family foods ever. Took it easy that night, we were all tired out!
Wednesday, August 9: Went to the pool in Brunswick with everyone, then came home and played cards with Annie, Caleb, Nate, Beth, and Caleb out the wazoo!
Thursday, August 10: Went to the lake to swim and hike. That was an adventure! We hiked up to the waterfall, which was awesome, then came back down, prepared all the sandwich condiments, I took a lot of pictures(surprised?), and then, according to Murphey's Law, it starts to rain. We thought of my Pawpop, my dad's dad, and how if he were here, he would've stayed and ate, so we stayed and ate. A little bit later, it starts to POUR! So we went home. If you ask CJ, she'll tell you the incredible blonde moment I experienced while holding Nathan's towel:). That night we had dinner with my brother-in-law Caleb's parents and siblings. I love them! Caleb has two sisters, Abby and Emily, who Beth and I are good friends with. I hadn't seen them in 2 years! So we spent the night there and played Taboo with the guys(my brothers Nathan and Caleb, and Abby and Emily's brothers Ben and Luke).
Friday, August 11: Got home from the Welties', babysat the babies, then that night we all went out(that's right, all 25 of us) to Applebee's. Partly because the Russells were leaving the next day, and partly because it was Sam and Kristen's birthdays. CJ, Beth, and I got Kristen the first season on DVD of "I Dream of Jeannie." Can I get a whoop whoop? Raise your hand if you ever watched that awesome show!
Saturday, August 12: The Russells left that morning, that was sad. That afternoon we made the 2 hour drive to Culpeper(that's where CJ and Nate were born) for a fellowship at Mt. Lebanon Baptist Church. My dad was the pastor there years ago. They heard he was in town, so they threw a fellowship in honor of my parents. It was really sweet. I had a ton of people come up to me and tell me how much I looked like my mother or my father:). That night, Annie, CJ, Beth and I watched "She's the Man." That was hilarious:). Kristen refuses to watch an Amanda Bynes movie:)~.
Sunday, August 13: We went to the Slaughters' church, Good News Presbyerian Church, then ate at Cracker Barrel for lunch. Then that afternoon, we went to the Washington Monument State Park. Hiked up and saw the original Washington Monument, me and CJ swung on the swings to our hearts' content, and I played some soccer with my nephew Warren...he's 5 and he's REALLY good! I was panting to keep up with him!
Monday, August 14: Very interesting day. Dad, Annie, CJ, Nate, Beth, Caleb, Tim, and I went tubing down the Potomac River. CJ, Nate, and Beth pretty much pulled the little boys the whole way. All of us who actually paddled, came home with our arms feeling like they were on fire! CJ and I also fell into the water from the rocks more than once....we also got pretty scraped up from the rocks:) That night, Annie, CJ, Beth and I watched "The Island." we had all seen it except for Annie. Kris was going to watch it, but she had little ones to take care of. Sean Bean is my favorite actor EVER!
Tuesday, August 15: We didn't do anything that day cause we were still so tired from tubing.
Wednesday, August 16: Awesome day! Dad, Annie, CJ, Nate, Beth, Caleb, Tim, Erin, and I went to Washington, DC! That's my new favorite city! I had my first ride on a metro train, we saw the National Archives(the Abolition Petition was my favorite), went to the National Air and Space Museum, took pictures by the Capital Building, saw the Washington Monument, caught a glimpse of the White House, went to the National Museum of Native American History(my dad LOVED it!), and the National Museum of American History. I really wanted to see the Shakespeare Theater, but we had to go home cause Tim had a really bad stone bruise on his heel. Maybe next time;).
Thursday, August 17: Mom, Kristen, Caleb, Molly, Tim and I drove to Woodbridge to see some great friends of ours, the Haynes, who used to go to our church. They have a girl, Lindsey(amazing girl!!!), her brother, David(also amazing!!!) and two little sisters, Elise and Emily(two of the sweetest girls ever!). I love them all so much! Then we came home and ate pizza from Lovettsville Pizza and Subs(never get their pizza). That night we played Taboo. Hehe that was fun. Annie had to describe the word "wrestling" so she jumps up and says "Matt loves--"
and EVERYONE on her team said "WRESTLING!!!" lol. *Tear* that was our last full day in Lovettsville.
Friday, August 18: Woke up at an ungodly hour, said all our goodbyes, and drove away. We all felt miserable. There's nothing quite so sad as leaving ones family. Drove Till 7 pm or so and stayed at a hotel in Nashville, TN. I swear I felt like a Yankee even though I'm from farther south than those people who talk like hicks:).
Saturday, August 19: Woke up badly(those beds weren't very comfortable, and Beth and I were sharing a king-size bed...we made very strict rules about the line down the middle:) ) and found out that dad had gotten food poisoning from the restaurant we ate at the night before. So he didn't eat very much that day. Drove ALL day and got to Fort Worth at around 11 pm or so, and fell right asleep.
Sunday, August 20: Got back in the car, and made the 6 hour drive back to San Antonio. The trip was fairly pleasant from Fort Worth to San Antonio because we listened to "News From Lake Wobegone." Does anyone besides us know what that is?;) So yeah. we're home now. Have been for about 3 hours. A major thank you to the people who left comments on my last post:). Love you all and missed you all! And to all my far away famiy members, I miss you already! I love every last one of you!

Susanna

Joy in the Journey

There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

And all those who seek it shall find it
A pardon for all who believe
Hope for the hopeless and sight for the blind

To all who've been born in the Spirit
And who share incarnation with Him
Who belong to eternity stranded in time
And weary of struggling with sin

Forget not the hope that's before you
And never stop counting the cost
Remember the hopelessness when you were lost

There is a joy in the journey
There's a light we can love on the way
There is a wonder and wildness to life
And freedom for those who obey

And freedom for those who obey...

Well, here it is. I'm leaving this afternoon, and coming back in two weeks. I'm not exactly sure what to write. If you're reading this, then more than likely, we're friends and I'm going to miss you like crazy. What's going to be the hardest is those of you going off to college while I'm gone. I love all you guys.
I am really excited about seeing my family up there:) Like my mom said: nothing makes my dad smiles more than having all his kids and grandkids under the same roof for a little while.

Hm, last night I had a really weird dream. I was like a reinactment of Lady in the Water. It was pretty creepy. I know this may sound really childish, but one of the things I hate is nightmares.

Well, since I'm going away, and since it's Sunday, I'm going to post a hymn for all you guys:

Benediction

May the grace of Christ our Savior
And the Father's boundless love
With the Holy Spirit's favor
Rest upon us from above

Thus may we abide in union
With each other and the Lord
And possess in sweet communion
Joys which earth cannot afford.

Take care, everyone, keep your chin up, remember to laugh at least once a day, etc. And if you're reading this, you can leave me a really nice comment to read either while I'm in Virginia, or when I come back. I can't promise I'll be able to update while I'm there, but I'll do my best. Love you all!!

Susanna

Here's pictures from our shooting excursion.

Kelly showed us how to put our ear plugs in...

Michelle had kind of a hard time with that...

Then had to actually start shooting.

Then when we got tired, we went and camped out in the suburban.

And for some reason Nate wanted to play Airplane....

Then we went back to Kelly's house, he taught us how to clean the weapons, and we went home.

I got a ton more pictures, but blogger is being weird and will only allow a certain number on here. So...tough luck I guess.

All in all, we had a blast (no pun intended) and went home with our shoulders aching from the shotgun:)

Love,

Susanna

The Jordan is waiting for me to cross through
My heart is aging I can tell
So Lord, I'm begging
For one last favor from You
Here's my heart take it where You will

This life has shown me how we're mended
And how we're torn
How it's okay to be lonely as long as you're free
Sometimes my ground was stoney
And sometimes covered up with thorns
And only You could make it what it had to be
And now that it's done
Well, if they dressed me like a pauper
Or if they dined me like a prince
If they lay me with my fathers
Or if my ashes scatter on the wind I don't care

But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
Well, It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won't break my heart to say goodbye

There's people been friendly
But they'd never be your friends
Sometimes this has bent me to the ground
Now that this is all ending
I want to hear some music once again
'Cause it's the finest thing I have ever found

But the Jordan is waiting
Though I ain't never seen the other side
They say you can't take in
The things you have here
So on the road to salvation
I stick out my thumb and He gives me a ride
And His music is already falling on my ears

There's people been talking
They say they're worried about my soul
Well, I'm here to tell you I'll keep rocking
'Til I'm sure it's my time to roll
And when I do

When I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
Well, It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won't break my heart to say goodbye

~~Elijah, Rich Mullins

Tomorrow COGC teenagers are going shooting! That's going to be a blast.

This is a note to all my friends who are going off to college: You guys have no idea how much you mean to me. You've given me invaluable advice, made me laugh, and just made my year a little bit brighter. I'm going to miss all of you so very much. (End of note)

I don't like change. And change is coming. I'm officially going into highschool, the seniors are going away to college, CJ's staying in Virginia till winter...I don't like any of it. I want things to stay just as they are. A friend told me that sometimes, change can be a good thing, and if things never changed, I wouldn't be where I am today. And that when we look back on what it was before, we're better off having been through it all. That's probably true.

I'm ready for fall to be here. Now. I'm tired of summer. Well, the summer weather. I can wait a while before starting fall schooling:)

Alright, I'm going to eat breakfast now.

Love,
Susanna<3

...I should join the cool people of *blogspot*. Yeah so this is fun.
I you are one of the people who will waste their sweet time here, I thank you. And if you are one of the people who would never dream of coming here, I don't blame you.

I promised two of my friends, Andy and Ben, that I would help them advertise when I got a blogspot. This is the two of them advertising each other's production companies.
The guy in the awesome pink fadora(mine, by the way) is the proud owner of Crater Productions, Andy Huber.
And the guy with his back to the camera is the proud owner of Nailed Studios, Benjamin Johnson.(sorry you can't really see the letters on the cross=)~)
You both happy?;)

Well there you have it. My first entry. fun fun.

Love,

Susanna